


Fucking Lasagna

by this_is_not_nothing



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, but it's fast, it's really about lasagna and being in love, this is a really light E
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 10:14:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22714420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_is_not_nothing/pseuds/this_is_not_nothing
Summary: It's Valentine's Day and there's lasagna.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 48
Kudos: 219





	Fucking Lasagna

**Author's Note:**

> This fic only exists because [thegrayness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegrayness/pseuds/thegrayness) and [popfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/popfly) encouraged this dumb idea to make it's way out of my brain and into the world. I don't know how I ever wrote before your constant validating anger. Gray is responsible for the best part and fixing all my tragic SPAG errors.

David zips up his coat and comes out of the back room, hoping Patrick doesn’t give him too much of a hard time. Patrick raises his eyebrows immediately at the appearance of David in his coat in the middle of the day. “Going somewhere?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact. Heather just texted me and asked if I could pick up the order today instead of Sunday.”

“But David it’s—”

“I know, but how could I say no? You’re the one who’s always saying we need to be accommodating when we can be,” David tries.

“Okay, yeah, I do say that. But—”

“So of _course_ I told our valued vendor who sells exclusively with us that I would be happy to.” 

Patrick sighs. “Fine, David. I assume you want to take my car?”

David winces. “Is that—is that ok?”

Patrick shoves his hands in his pockets and nods. David walks over to him, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s neck. “Thank you. I’ll meet you at home?” David says, kissing him, with enough heat that Patrick takes his hands out of his pocket to slide them into David’s jacket. Patrick pulls back enough to tease, dragging his lips over David’s before fitting their mouths back together. Patrick pulls back again, leaving David dazed and breathless. 

“Better get going, David. Best not to keep our _valued_ vendor waiting.”

“Mm, well if you insist I go. I’ll see you later.” David smirks and makes it halfway to the door before turning around. “I need the—”

Patrick is holding his car keys in an upturned palm.

“Keys,” David finishes as he plucks them out of Patrick’s hand. He gets a hand around the back of Patrick’s head and pulls him in for another quick kiss. 

“Okay, really leaving now. Love you.”

**

David checks his phone _again_ and surveys the kitchen, which is a fucking mess. Lasagna, as a food, is neat and orderly and square. As a process, it’s a disaster. 

Clint _assured_ him it was easy and David mistakenly believed him. This is like the enchiladas all over again, except at least Jocelyn had a dishwasher.

By the time Patrick walks in, David’s managed to get all the pieces assembled into the baking dish and it looks like the Target version of the lasagna at Del Posto he ate many lifetimes ago.

“What’s all this?” Patrick asks, taking off his coat and setting down flowers and wine on the table.

David angles his cheek for a kiss as he finishes sprinkling cheese on top. “This is lasagna, and the kitchen is a mess. Sorry.”

“Did you make lasagna for Valentine’s Day, David?” Patrick’s voice goes up at the end, incredulous. “I thought we weren’t celebrating this year—to save for the wedding.”

“I—we’re not. It’s Valentine’s Day?” David furrows his brows. “I thought that was tomorrow?”

“If you didn’t know it was Valentine’s Day, what is all this? Why did you make lasagna?” Patrick asks, gesturing at the table.

“Because you like lasagna. It’s all you talked about post wisdom teeth. I just thought—”

Patrick cuts him off with a kiss that never really catches because Patrick can’t stop smiling.

“I _might_ have underestimated how much you like lasagna.” David laughs.

“I might have underestimated how much I love you.” Patrick’s beaming at him, like he won the lottery and David’s the prize.

“Okay, well. I love you, too.” David puts foil over the top of the baking dish, and pops it into the oven. 

David straightens back up and turns back to Patrick. “Okay so, that needs twenty minutes with the foil on, and then another twenty or so with the foil off, according to your dad.”

“You called my dad?” Patrick’s eyes go wide and soft in the way that makes Stevie gag.

“I did. Your dad always brags that his lasagna is the best, so I figured I'd just call him.”

“Yeah, it is. This was very nice of you.”

David grabs the wine to open and sees that it’s one of the better bottles they sell. “Is this for Valentine’s Day? We _said_ weren’t—”

“Well, it’s a good thing I _did_ because otherwise you’d have made me lasagna and I’d have nothing for you,” Patrick shakes his head.

“I was going to make you do the dishes,” David admits.

“I’ll do the dishes, David. Why don’t you have a glass of wine and I’ll clean up.” Patrick starts rolling up his sleeves.

“Mm, that’s a great plan.” David puts the flowers in water and gets himself a glass of wine. He perches on the end of the sofa as Patrick tells him about his afternoon. When the timer goes off, Patrick’s got the kitchen clean and is just finishing setting the table. David pulls the foil off the lasagna, and sets the timer for another twenty minutes. He barely gets the oven door closed before Patrick is crowding him against the counter.

“This won’t make the lasagna cook any faster,” David teases.

“You know,” Patrick murmurs, against his lips. “We have twenty minutes.” Patrick punctuates this with a kiss, sliding his hands between them, working to undo David’s pants.

“We—do have twenty minutes.” 

“I can work with that.” Patrick’s got his sex plan face on. 

It turns out the plan is very good. Patrick’s mouth is on his, and his hands are sliding under his t-shirt, and into his pants, until David is hard and pressing against him. Patrick drops to his knees, right there in the kitchen, looking up at David as he gets his mouth around David’s cock, and _oh_ that’s good. Patrick doesn’t tease, just gets David so, so close with alarming precision. It’s the sight of Patrick’s shoulders moving, the way he moans around David’s cock as he gets himself close too, that sends David shuddering over the edge, into Patrick’s mouth. He feels Patrick shake and come in his own hand as he gentles his mouth on David.

The timer rings out and he pulls off, looking up at David smugly. “I think your lasagna is ready.”

“You’re the worst.” David laughs, pulling Patrick up off the floor.

“But I’m yours. I’m gonna go clean up real fast.” Patrick kisses him on the cheek and heads into the bathroom.

David tucks himself back into his jeans and washes his hands quickly. When he pulls the dish out of the oven, he’s kind of impressed. It looks like _actual_ lasagna.

David snaps a photo to send to Clint as Patrick comes out of the bathroom.

David serves them each a piece as Patrick sits down. “Let’s eat.”

Patrick picks up his fork. “Happy Valentine’s Day, David.”

“Happy Lasagna Friday, Patrick.” 


End file.
